My World

well I'm here again . stupid girl who keep on typing stupid things here .
I can't think . anymore . I'm blank . I look like a crazy ppl now. really . I can't keep my anger now and see !! I'm a monster !. the most stupid monster ever !. who always hurt herself and now she's dying .
I don't BELIEVE ! I will never could BELIEVE those facts ! ohh . I'm totally hurt ! . I HATE YOU I HATE HER I HATE HIM I HATE THEM . AND I HATE MYSELF THE MOST !!.
maybe you will think that I'm really crazy now but I really need to pray " GOD TAKE ME ! I'M WEAK AND I CAN'T EVEN SOLVE MY OWN PROBLEMS . I QUIT ! I GIVE UP ! "
everyone here is just evils !! YOU ALL ARE TOO CRUEL YOU KNOW ??. I DON'T KNOW THAT I'VE DONE ! what make you hate me ?. you don't know me so please don't judge me . do I look like a BITCH for you all ??. ohh !. my tears ! they have never come out for so long .. but recently they have to drop like rain !!. YOU'RE TOO CRUEL ! REALLY ! YOU ALL !

my heart my brain my feeling , they're numb . I feel nothing . what I can do is just introspecting myself . am I really doing bad ?. I've never think he can did and said something like that to me . I can't . I can't believe it . I was shocked . really shock *sigh
this morning . I woke up quite late . almost 10 a.m .. I'm afraid to face my own life . I'm coward . I know .. everyone asked me 'what's going on with you ?' 'what happened' . and I answered ' it was just a nightmare !' ' I have a really bad dream ' .. ya stupid answer . HAHA . wtv . I don't care ..
I felt like I really don't wanna open any online stuffs after reading those tweets . why that have to be the way to make me jealous ?. tweeting another girl(s) I don't like . am I ego ?. but think !. if I do that thing to another boy . he must be so mad . but why he didn't think about this too ??.
I'm not a patient , aggressive or perfect girl . I'm not as smart as them . I'm not as pretty as another girls he loved . I'm not as good as what he wants . and those are why I need him . need him to make me comfort . to make me feel that I'm perfect . but what I feel now is : I'm stupid . I'm not pretty at all . I'm bad , never be good enough for him .. I think so hard last night .. what I did ??. why he accused me on everything ? he pointed me . and he was so rude . argh . he made me afraid . huh . stop discussing about that .
I decided to smile and laugh every time . WHY ? bcs I don't want anyone knows my stupid life . my misery life . if I act sad everyday , that must be so YUCK ! I laugh to hide everything . and it works . everyone says that my life is the most interesting life ever !. what ? HELLO ??. I'm happy to hear that one actually .
honestly I need to share my stupid sad stories to him . share my sadness and anything else . but seems like . IMPOSSIBLE . he won't understand :'(

enough for complaining my life . my powerlessness .
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE !

huh . I'm turning badmood now . after reading some shit stupid tweets !. huh . honesty I don't understand what's going on between me and him .. what does he want and others . everything makes me going crazy . I'm feeling bad now . well I have sooo many things that I can't explain to ANYone . I just found no way about how to explain . kinda stupid right ? yaa . I'm stupid . everyone is trying to make me stupid and crazy . lol . :'(
okay pretend that I tell all things to him , to them . do they wanna understand it ?. come on . life's not as simple as what we imagine . I know .
I never know that he could do something like this . to me . argh stop talking about that . my tears flow like tap water right now . I cant type anything else . keyboard is totally wet ,

good night everyone .

ya I'm here again . I'm bad today . I got fever , cold and etc . really need to sleep soon . but not before I share some things to you guys . maybe my body shows what my heart feels now . BAD .
ohh . could anyone help me ?. I don't know what's wrong with me again ?. everyone treats me so bad including him *I feel it . well let me write out the point .. to everyone : don't trust me then If you think you can't trust me . I will no longer beg or force you to trust me . I feel like stupid keep on begging everyone to be kind on me . IF you wanna treat me bad , talk something bad about me , don't wanna trust me or what . just continue on doing that ones . I'm tired . really tired .
I wonder , what would you do if seeing me dying ?. oh come on ! no one will cares about it *exclude my family . I think everyone really wanna watch the time when I will cut my veins , blood everywhere , pale face of mine , and then heart stop beating .. that's what you all want ?. someone ANSWER ME !

good night everyone

today is super duper guper mad day . everything happen today is out of mind . I'm tired about facing such hard problems . well forget about L.O.V.E for a while . haha !
today my housemaid didn't come . and guess what ?. when I entered my room . it was just as same as when I left it ! used-tissues everywhere . my hair stuffs are all on the floor and table . and so on . you know what's worse ?? I have to tidy it up MYSELF . I look like a housemaid just now . HAHA .
it's 10.30 PM now . feeling so sleepy but I bet I can't sleep later . :p . bcs of something . something . something . something !!!! oh stop talking about that or I won't sleep tonight . haha
hm . I only eat 1times today . kinda joke right ?. I'm a food freak *thank GOD I'm slim until now :D . talking about 'eating' >> I'm not in mood . really . diet ?. maybe . hahha

oh ya . just remember !. wanna share you this pic guys

what do you think ?

good night everyone :)

-P

unreliable .unfaithful .liar .bad temper .fierce and wtv . are those all things inside your mind about me ??? it's hurt . really hurt . these things are really driving me crazy . could you stop thinking something bad about me ?. oh . I'm out of words .
I found no words to describe how much I miss you . how much I love you . how much I need you . exactly I'm the one who ego or you ? I must be ME !. ya I know .