My World

I don't have chance to tell what I'm thinking of . that's the problem . he keep on thinking something bad about me . he really made me scared . his face his voice his gaze . well just pretend that I'm bad, everything is my fault , *if that could make him happy and always smiles . I'm trying so hard to be what he wants . but I can't . I know I'm not as perfect as those smart , pretty girls .
I'm feeling so bad every time I enter the class . everyone stares at me . and I know they're thinking something bad about me inside their heads . what did I do ??. could anyone tell me ?. I'm STRESSED ! really . and inside that class when he's close to his friends(especially girls) , seems like he's soooooo far from me .

I love him . I'm feeling so afraid of losing him . every time he holds my hand and that would be the time when I'm being so selfish . I really need to freeze the time . I wanna hold his hand without let it off . yah I'm so selfish . I realize it . when he holds my hand , I keep worrying if he let his hand off . and I keep thinking so hard about how if he won't hold my hands anymore . how if that would be the last . that's what I afraid of .
I know he loved a girl . and honestly I admit that she is beautiful , charming . ya I know she's almost 'perfect' and I definitely NOT . but I never want to be as perfect as her . really . my friends said she and I look alike , long hair , quite tall , slim . oh . I hate it . I really want to have my hair cut you know . I just dont want my boyfriend thinks about her anymore .
and just now I heard that girl's name . one of HIS(my boyfriend) friend talked about her . asked for this girl's phone number . and HE didn't wanna give it . it makes me really worry . I thought about it along the way home . what I really afraid of .. I afraid . of losing him .

- P

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

everything is going right lately . :) and now I'm facing some stupid examinations . huh . teachers give us hard questions . and it's killing me . I don't worry too much for tomorrow's test . it's only Biology . so it won't be too hard . haha .
well . today is a special day . 30-11-10 . it has been 2 months since 30-09-10 , right ?. ya , actually today's our 2 months anniversary .HAHA . time passed so fast . sometimes it makes me crazy . I don't like to be older I mean who wants it ?.haha . I think he doesn't even know what day is today . but I don't really take attention to it . :) . haha . it seems stupid or what . but I love him more than everything . honestly I've never love other boys as much as I love him . I feel like I love him more and more . :D . I wish he does too . and we can take much care to our relation . that's all . happy 2 months anniversary . :)

- P

	Quotes about love

today , there was an exam , HISTORY! . I hate it . too many stories to read . :( . in fact , I didn't study and I did my exam quite good . HAHA . I just write anything I like . :D .
and yesterday , it was an annoying day . huhh . he didn't want to talk to me . I dunno what's wrong . then last night he told me that he was BAD MOOD . :-| . honestly , I felt like I was BURNT that time . how I hate it when every time he tells me that he is BAD MOOD and he doesn't talk OR smile OR sit next to me !. Grr !!. seems like he is not in mood to be close to me, right ?. :( . I learn something , I know how to handle this . BUT it's hard . really . so should I get used to his MOOD ?. ohh . it's a nightmare . if somehow he does it again , what should I do ?. keep smiling to him and try to talk to him first . it's really not me . I'm not kinda agressive girl or what either a romantic girl . I always want a boy to start everything first . not me . but ya , I should get used to him .I mean his MOOD . I love him . really . so I have to love everything he has . :)

hie everyone !. today is a great Sunday . yesterday is my lovely friend SHELLY's birthday . she treated us to eat at SEOUL GARDEN as what we planned . yeah, it's delicious . I love the seafood and also the ice-cream . they're all yummy . :) . I'm quite late yesterday . my friends arrived there about 1 p.m and I just came there 2.45 p.m . haha . we ate so many things there . we sit almost 3 hours there !. keep eating what we like . and you know I ate so much . my friends can't eat to much , but I can . HAHA . at last , we try that 'KERANG REBUS' .*it means shell that we boiled along with water . pretty delicious that one . after we were full to be filled , we were about to going out from that place . but when we just almost walked to the door , all the waiters and waitresses shouted to us " THANKYOU SEEYOUAGAIN " . HAHA . it's so funny . hm . after that, we're just having fun at amazone . then of course go shopping . I bought 1 new hairband . it's perfect . BUT it's so expensive . :( . it's okay , I'll do anything to get what I really want . :D . last, I went to J.co and bought some baby donuts for my lovely mom . she likes that so much . and at the end of my shopping day , I found my wallet EMPTY !. no more money left inside it . HAHA !.
well I promised you all to add some weekend photos . ya , I remember it of course . :D . haha .












- P

well . first word to type . SHIT !. I dunno what's going on with me or with him . everything he complained or he talked about , it just seems like he doubt me . he has never trusted me at all . even he keep saying that he does, I know that he's lying. you know , I HATE it so much . or those all things are really my fault . every time we started to argue, I just feeling like ' I'm stupid , it's my fault , I'm really bad , I've never done anything good '. but I decided to not to cry for something like this . I hate tears !. I look really bad when I cry*trust me . I look at my self like looking at a monster !. I'm really bad tempered you know. I can throw ANY thing that is close to me .*really HAHA . what a bad day . BUT I have never been really mad after arguing with him . he can make everything like before , melt my anger just in simple way . but I love it . haha .*I'm not gonna tell you what he usually does . :P
hmm . tomorrow I'm going to hang out with some beloved friends . HAHA . but the problem is : I dried > POOR !. oh it's the biggest problem ever ! :D . hope mom and dad kindly give me some money for me to go shopping tomorrow . our plan tomorrow is : having lunch at the SEOUL GARDEN . I'm so happy about that . :)
well I have nothing to share anymore . tomorrow I'm going to update again and add some weekend photos . :) promise . see you

- P

well . I'm getting sick of these stuffs . I really need to be understood and trusted . that's all . I explained the same thing for thousand times . but it's really useless .! I know JEALOUS is a common thing. n I DO too .! when he played or talked with some girls*well I hate them , I felt like BURNT !. shit . but I tried really hard to understand it . I keep on thinking positively . and keep telling myself that he loves me . that's the reason I could always SMILE to him every time I was jealous . I feel proud of myself about that . :D and I always wish he could be like that too . :) .
.. oh . forget it . I'm facing such exams lately . and I got a bad score for mandarin . I hate it , you know . how can I memorize hundreds words written by stupid scratches*I dunno what it called . HAHA . and next week the worst subjects ever (maths , physics , chemistry ,etc) will haunt me !. well I wish I can get answers from some kind friends . HAHAHA !. these exams just make me stressed !. I HATE exams . :(
enough for today . see you next time . :)

- P

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thanks,
Princess

oh . I miss posting something stupey here .
it has been 4 months ! 4months !
haha :D . sorry

well . I passed my life just like before : a lil bit boring , much fun , lazy n wtv . what about you guys ? :D . oh ya !. now I'm a 2nd grade of sh's student !oh . it's driving me crazy . I hate to be older and older :( . yea let's change to another topic . I'll spend so much money lately !. 3 of my friends having their birthdays so close one to another . I have to save my money . MUCH !. haha .
today is 6th NOV 2010 , Saturday . I went out to have my dinner with my sistas . I ate pizza just now . quite great . it rained !. so I cant went out to another place(s) anymore . it's quiet cold this night . I love it .
it's time to go to my dreamland . my boyfriend is waiting for me there . haha
good night !. sleep tight everyone !

I dunno wat is this ..
but I'm feeling different lately
he's different to me ,,
he text me ! . , I'm soo excited ..
does he feel the same feeling like I do ? ><

Princess

I realize that I'm stupid !
the 1 tat ever hurt me ,, just wait for the revenge !
I dun wanna be kind if it's useless !
argh ,, I hate love !

my birthday just passed
n i got a TeddyBear from my friends .. :) damn happy
I named her BEBE .. ahahhaa

mm ,,,
but so sad , some1 I love didnt tell me hpy bday :(
1 of my friend said that he doesnt even know my bday ..
huhh .. I hate it ..
but lately he's different ..
a lil bit more talkactive to me ,*even always make me angry
he likes to mock me ,, *always n everyday
sometimes he makes me jealous !
my bestfrnd told me that he did it by purpose
n she(my Bstfrnd) said that maybe this boy(the 1 I ♥) is also loves me !!
I dont knoe if she's lie .. but she said she's sure !
welL , actually I hope so .... XD

I ♥ him .. zhu tou ! pig ! XD~

Princess

it has been so long for not updating this blog ..
today is 22nd of januari 2010 ,,,
it's too fast for me actually

weLL ,
lately .. I'm just feeling stupid
cz I can see someone "special" everyday now ..
ahaa ,, actually he's not really perfect but he's cute
a lil bit mysterious that make me feel curious .. XD

then ,,
about someone that I've ever love "last time"
he acted so different that time
how can he just say something 'bad' to me
TT
even it's too hurt ..
but I can forgive him ,,
forgive doesnt mean forget ,,
in fact , I hate him ,,

hmm ,, this is late now here in Indonesia
I'm gonna sleep cz I've to go to school tomorrow
wishing a great story foe tomorrow ,,ahahaha ,,

well gd nite ,, c u again

Princess