My World

I never could imagine this thing would happen. I couldn't find him anywhere. Anywhere! I search around and everywhere. He's not there. Well i really have to admit it's impossible for me to live alone. Without him. It's just impossible.
I chatted a guy last night. Oh my god he was suck! Such an arrogant and cold creature. I was just reading the texts, the chats, but every word he typed, every words i read, they stabbed me to the heart! Exactly to the heart. I just read, not heard directly. How could words broke me like this? Or maybe i was just too sensitive. Idk
I am so sick of this. This life. It's suck!! I need him. I don't know how things would become like this. He's like my encouragement. He's the one think about every morning once i open my eyes. The feeling i get, that he's mine, that he's there and always be there. Those feelings remind me how lucky i am for having him. He's the best thing God ever gave me after He gave me my family. He's a gift comes from God after i complained about my shitty life before he came. He lighten up everything. He gives me reason to smile every morning. But things change now. He's suddenly disappear. Please God please. Take him back next to me. Please