My World

I don't know why. But this life seems like treating me so cruel. I've never been relax even for a while. I realize all that I do is just complaining. I am tired for complaining too.
You know, that feeling when you really wish you could cry out loud, but you can't, it is torturing. I wish I could cry it out, I can't. Idk why, is it because I've been really hurt this time, or I'm numb. this is so painful, this heart.
Someone wish to escape from me, I let that people go. This is hurt, indeed. I am just too tired to hold that people, who keep on pushing me away. I am tired, and I don't wish for getting back together anymore. I tried to do my best, I put my pride away, I begged like beggar. But still, that people have never feel that I was good enough. I have never get any kind of respect. That people can only act rudely when angry, pulled me like a dog, saw me with killer eyes, pointed me with the finger. I knew at least, we would not be together, at the end. I kept on trying. But now I am kinda ready. I will go my own way from now on. I promise I won't look back anymore. Everyone's right, I can find someone better, i believe that people can too. There's no point being together without any respect, trust and loyalty. I will try to walk and look straight forward :)

Goodnight world,
Xoxo

Now i have a question. Do you believe in fate? Do you think everything in our life has been fated? Is your soulmate has been fated? Do you believe that people could be meant to be or not meant to be?
Well i am getting crazy thinking of these. I never get what i want. Things never be as way i want it to be. I am such a failure. Everything i do just ends up useless. Am i not good enough for anyone? Am i really that bad? No one could accept me like the way i am. No one feels happy for having me. No one feels blessed because of having me.
Is it my fate to be fooled and being threw away like trash by everyone?
TELL ME IS IT MY FATE?????

That feeling of hearing the person you love 's voice. No matter how the situation is, whether that person is yours or not. I think the feeling is just undescribeable. Don't care how the situation is, don't care how a couple fight hard. When you secretly call s/he, and they answer but you just keep silent, focus on the voice, don't care how they respond, you'll have that kind of feeling like calming yourself down and, you smile. Sounds stupid. But yea it's truth!

Goodnightworld ❤

I never could imagine this thing would happen. I couldn't find him anywhere. Anywhere! I search around and everywhere. He's not there. Well i really have to admit it's impossible for me to live alone. Without him. It's just impossible.
I chatted a guy last night. Oh my god he was suck! Such an arrogant and cold creature. I was just reading the texts, the chats, but every word he typed, every words i read, they stabbed me to the heart! Exactly to the heart. I just read, not heard directly. How could words broke me like this? Or maybe i was just too sensitive. Idk
I am so sick of this. This life. It's suck!! I need him. I don't know how things would become like this. He's like my encouragement. He's the one think about every morning once i open my eyes. The feeling i get, that he's mine, that he's there and always be there. Those feelings remind me how lucky i am for having him. He's the best thing God ever gave me after He gave me my family. He's a gift comes from God after i complained about my shitty life before he came. He lighten up everything. He gives me reason to smile every morning. But things change now. He's suddenly disappear. Please God please. Take him back next to me. Please

Have you ever feel of caring someone a lot or we could say it 'over-care' maybe? You care too much on someone. But they take it as an annoyance. Like we are too too toooo over-react. Let me ask you now. Is it bad? Or is it a wrong? Well okay, maybe you'll answer 'actually it's annoying'. I know it is. Sometimes it is annoying. But think positive please. We care because we're afraid of losing you. And why ppl can become over-protective *or what*? because you've done something wrong before. Girls, they would become an over-protective, because boys had done her wrong before, so she's trying her best to not to let it happen again, and transform into a very over over over in EVERYTHING!
I'm done with the blablablaa. Hahaha. I've been complaining about my life lately. Not good! Don't copy my bad habit!

❤

This has been 2 days. I have been like this since 2 days ago. Keep on day-dreaming, missing things, worrying feelings and praying that time will fly as fast as possible. I realized i have been living in dreams lately. I can't keep this emotional feeling. It just comes itself without control.
Waiting. This is too torturing. I hate waiting. But this time i'm sure going to wait. The problem is i afraid everything will just useless at the end. Okay i wish this time would work well. I wish it would worth it.
tonight. It's just as bad as yesterday. Distance is.. Torturing. Ya it's torturing. In this situation, the most torturing is, you don't know whether they miss you as much as you do, or not. We feel so tortured, how about them? Yes i am getting crazy and my mind is going.. BOOM!

Good night ❤

" time passes, but wound never heal "
I wish time was an eraser. Erasing things we don't want to remember as the time goes on. So life would be much better

Have you ever heard this quote "You don't always get what you want" ? Well I heard this quote thousand times already. And I do agree this is right. Everybody experienced it of course. I did too.

Hmm I believe everyone has a dream for their future. I have too. *finally* haha. But things don't go like I want them to be. Like they're going wrong way that I don't even recognize. I wish things went right. But no one could understand what I want. OKAY this is life. Then tell me should I learn things I don't like in a 'whatever' university for the next 4 years? Just spending money at the canteen and go shopping after the class finish? Oohh que sera sera what ever will be will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera seraaa hahaha

Keep on being what you are and do things you want. Be thankful of everything you got. Nothing lasts forever. Accept REALITY