My World

Now it's late at night (for me, ya it's late), 10:04 my computer's time. I hate having much problems before going to sleep. Ya I mean, can we straighten out problems before going to sleep? Well I just need to hear something like "It's alright honey. We're not supposed to fight like this. We used to be fun and nice. Forget this stupid thing. I won't did it again. Just go to sleep now. Meet me in your dream honey. I love you. So much!". Then everything is fine! And I can sleep well too! ERGH Whatever! There isn't anything right for now. Everything's going wrong. Why I should struggle into this hard life? Well it's actually a gift. Life's a gift.

I don't really understand what's going on with me, her, and them. They're just making everything worst. Stop blaming each other. I realized it was just a misunderstanding. Then, some people make it really worst. After that they're just blame another people, again. What's wrong with you? Actually there's nothing wrong with us. It's YOU. Hm .. I can just forget those sh*t things, until I heard something really unforgivable thing. (still I call that people as THEY/THEM) They said that my boyfriend is just a bad guy or whatever. HELLO? I know who he is. I know much better than THEM. Please, what's actually on their mind? They think by saying like that I will no longer trust him(my boyfriend)? Sorry it won't work! It's none of your business actually. Come on, just take care on your own problem. You don't have to take care mine. You're just too "KIND(?)" you know?*I doubt that "KIND(?)" HAHA. 1 thing they should know "I know which one is right and which one is wrong. This is my life and please let me live my life as what I want or as what I think. If later I fall or suffer or anything, I won't come to ask your help or sympathy from you". Stop ruining my life. You should give it a rest. Don't you feel tired?Fiuh. Please let me live in peace. I don't want this kind of life. Full of hatred, misunderstanding, clutter and wtv. Just live in peace, can I?

Well those examination is totally killing me. I can't imagine how I will do those 3 subjects. urgh. Just wish for some miracles, and friend's kindness. :D

Umm. I don't have anything else to type today. Sorry :( I would share much tomorrow or later :D Promise !

Good night

Okay, still discussing about 'friendships'. I love to have many friends. Being enemies is just so sick for me. Hate it the most. Make me tired. Don't you think this is annoying? Hmm. I still have so many friend instead. :p . Let me share something about my classmates. *girl classmates. I like them since the first time I entered that class (I have shared about this before, I think). But some problems make us not too close to each other. I realized that's because we don't know each other. You know, we can't judge people when we don't even know them. It's totally right! And still I like them, so much. I'm just too coward to move forward. Someone told me that I have to join them and have chats with them. I really want to. But I don't have any confident to do it. I'm .. honestly I'm afraid. Haha . But now I'm getting close to some of them. Not all, just some. That makes me really happy*sounds stupid, but I do. They're really kind,friendly, cute, pretty and awesome! Well I hope we can get closer and closer. Gotta tell you headway soon! :D

Well I don't understand why everybody keeps on blaming me. I tried to do my best for other people, but at least they said that I'm a destroyer, a vandal. Can you imagine you friends, your best friend say that you're a destroyer and also vandal? Well, I have never imagine but I feel it! It's damn hurt! :( They just see me like I'm an evil.

I wonder why I never get any good story in my whole life? I used to be childish but I try to change it. Really need to stop crying in front of people. I really need some energy or power to do it. But I can't. It proves that I'm too weak. I would like to be strong. I act like I'm strong in front of everybody. But I can't deny, I'm totally weak.

Sometimes, life is just too hard. To be honest, I'm coward. Life is never flat. When we're getting older, problems come without any single stops. Like : Life is just like the sea, storms everywhere. When you sail farer and farer to the center, bigger storms will hit you.

Enough for complaining my life. How bad or worst it is, it's still my life, mine.

Good Night Everyone .

This 4 months gave me so much experience and stories that I can't type it all here. But overall, my stories lately is just.. complicated but it's great and unforgettable. Well a couple months ago, I moved to my new sweet home which is COOL and COMFORTABLE and LOVELY. I will share you some photos about it later, not now, why? because I lost my camera USB and I don't have any kind of things that could be used to read that camera memory. Actually that memory can be plugged in my Notebook. BUT ! another trouble is: my notebook is broken(damaged) which is ANNOYING. I can't online using my notebook anymore. Daddy doesn't allow to fix it. He said I will broke it again. urgh. :( I hate using computer (PC). But it's okay . Well back to my new house. I was having trouble *again* after moved here. Well I forgot about something. I didn't think about the internet connection before , I didn't put any internet line here ! So after moved here, I lived without internet for almost 1 months until at least I bought a MODEM to use. ThankGod. :) . Umm I love my bedroom. It's pretty cute. Actually I wanted a Classic-Bedroom. But dad asked the interior designer to make it Minimalist. At least, It's not bad at all.

Hhm. I have 6 more days free before exam. FINAL EXAM ! I don't have any idea how I will pass my math, chemistry, and physics exam. :( uh. frustrated. So how about you guys? Hope we can pass this final exam and move forward to the last grade of senior high *in Indonesia* :)